Scott Pilgrim vs. Me

Now I like video games, of many shapes and sizes, I am also not emphatically opposed to reading a graphic novel every now again (though a solid book will always be my preferred medium of story-telling), so, you'd think that the premise of the summer film "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" would be a very enticing concept to me. It is not. 

The Star of This Film...yes REALLY

I am vaguely aware that Scott Pilgrim is a character from a series of graphic novels by Brian Lee O'Malley  which have a respectable following among the comic book set. In these comics (which I readily confess I have not read) I understand from second hand sources that retro-video game devices and techniques are use to add humour and ambiance to the story. Again, no trouble there, I have no issue with that whatsoever.
Now, my problem comes when I happened to see the trailer for said film. I must press on my audience that I have not seen the film or read the comics so I'm purely recording my current opinions which may, for all I know, change in the future. 
The trailer consists of a montage of a squeaky-voiced buck-toothed jellyfish drooling after a stereotypical emo/goth/grunge hybrid masturbatory aid and the "humorous" events that supposedly lead to rodent-face boy winning over bad-ass-but-my-true-love emo slag.
The films extremely liberal attitude towards homosexuality was also an instant turn-off.  One of emo-whores "evil exes" is in fact a woman, this, from what I can see, is neither remarked upon nor elaborated furthering a care-fee attitude towards "trying" the homosexual lifestyle. Equally disturbing is rodent-boy's sharing a bed with his "cool" homosexual room mate. As a 12A certificate film I would be extremely angry having taken my 12/13 year old child unknowingly to a film of that rating which contained blatant and overt homosexual themes. 
Aside from these gripes, the trailer only leaves me with the impression that all this film has going for it is a non-stop torrent of pop-culture references and geek-in jokes that may alienate even some who self-identify with the nerdier side of life. 

The Jail Bait from Lazy Town is back

I fail to see why this film is provoking such a gushing of geek-gasm from many quarters. It seems to be little more than a conventional rom-com with a few "wakey" elements thrown in to appeal to the Myspace/ X-Box Live generation (of which I am part). The fact that this film is blatantly trying so hard to appeal to me instantly makes it very unappealing. "Look" it cries, "video games jokes AND young relationship problems, how can you NOT like this?!" which instantly makes me want to reply "fuck off Scott Pilgrim you effeminate little wank stain".
I'm not saying if I was taken to see this film I would hate every second of it, I may even have my opinions and fears totally reversed buy it, but from seeing the trailer, Internet chatter and the more general gossip about how "amazzinglly ZOMG Scott Pilgrim" this film/franchise is, the more dubious I become.         

CSI, NCIS, CISM, KGBSFA, CKIVJKEUTJUS10450#!! and other acronym fetishes

Crime is Fail, We are Win

I recently acquired a 23" flat screen HD television with build in Freeveiw channels. Delighted to be rid of my 90's monstrosity I happily sat flicking through the many new and exciting stations (Russia Today!) and having had my new TV for a weeks I notice a pattern emerging. America has been gripped and erotically asphyxiated by crime acronym fever. 
Television moguls seem to have decided that words, you know the sounds we as humans use to communicate complex emotions and ideas, are just too damn old hat. What johnny public retard needs to an ACRONYM for his favourite cop show. Beneath the mind boggling array of titles all featuring "crime" and "investigation"  just in case you didn't get the premise is a menagerie of impossibly low-lit rooms and super high-tech labs with "edgy" scientists who are just too cool to do things like follow basic investigation procedure. 
Zooming in can seemingly solve ANY crime and bleeping light-speed computers seem to have EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LIVED EVERRRR stockpiled into their databases like some weird Bolshevist wet dream.
This is police work air-brush style. Impossibly attractive legions of civil service staff bustle around insanely new and clean looking sets without so much as a paper clip straying on the desk. Strip club mood lighting is ample for the dodgy science montage sequences with culminate with everyone looking like a self-satisfied serial masturbator or in a state of Shakespearian exasperation. 
As always, quirky lab goth girl or lovable rouge detective dredge up some piece of pop culture dross to solve the latest epidemic of trendy murders or rapes. A Scooby Doo "meddling kids" moment is a must at the end of each episode when the pantomime culprit is brought to a far too-perfect American justice. What's with these rapists getting life and murders getting the death penalty? where's the snivelling human rights advocate who gets Ed Gein's copycat a spell of community service and "rehabilitation" with a free holiday? 
All these programs are a symptom of America's desire for an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful justice system when it fact is has one of the most ineffectual and problematic (minus the current British one of course), this fantasy world where cops always win and no crime can possible go unsolved thanks to "science" is a reaction to a situation in which people feel powerless in the face of crime and unsupported by the authorities.
Godlike characters with unimpeachable virtues gallivant across America solving crimes and bringing justice to the masses with sunglasses and designer gloves, and this is how people want to imagine their nations emergency services really are. The harsh reality of dull 1970's office blocks housing boxes of coffee stained files and dusty labs in constant need of cleaning and better funding doesn't make good television, and this is why "insert acronym here" has to take detective work to a near science fiction level.
Until we get an army of RoboCop's to slap ASBO's on chavs and gun down would-be rapists with gusto, VNDJVPOCOCCIS and it's fellows will be with us for some time yet.


            

A Review with many R's

These days, in the world of hyper-advertising, viral advertising and Jane Fonda selling you moisturiser, everything is uber-touted as the best "insert product" evvvarr. Needless to say, I, like many others, am momentarily seized with a mental illness  whereby I absorb every microbe of this bullshit and, like a meek lamb at a Satanists birthday party, await my reward in blissful ignorance. 

However, 9 times out of 10, the thing you couldn't live without and which was going to change the way you thought about entertainment like Flying Spaghetti Monster changed the face of teh Internets, is in reality a mass-produced heap of genericism masterminded by Jew capitalists gleefully sucking at the teat of the cash-cow.

Thankfully, I had missed all the advertising campaign for Red Dead Redemption, RockStar Games latest effort for the video-game market after a decade making graphical interpretations of a Saturday night in Hull town centre (GTA and family). But I digress, having let RDR slip under my game radar I bought it with little or no expectations other than it was going to be a sandbox Grand Theft Auto with horses. 

What I got however, was one of the best games of the past few years and certainly a mile-stone game in the same vein as The Legend of Zelda for the N64 or Halo for the X-Box. The genuinely beautiful backdrops teeming with authentic wildlife (all of which which you'll spend many happy hours riddling with buck-shot) provide a rich stage-set for the character of John Marston, the only video game interface devise I have ever felt any sort of emotional connection to or truly worried for the well-being of. A vast map gives you free scope to explore and complete a range of missions in the GTA fashion, with multiple "jobs" available across the map from different NPC's all the time and any time.

Far from being merely a "Western-style" GTA, Red Dead Redemption unravels its intelligent if well-worn story arc with some of the deepest character development to be found in the video game media. Realistic voice acting, dialogue, music, ambiance and background noise all add to the feel of this game. While the constant horseback riding can at times border on tedious, the cleverly disguised option of map travel is available should you not wish to spend 3-10 minutes of real time cantering though the truly breathtaking scenery RockStar have created. The dying days of the Old West are brought to life in a level of detail hardly conceivable only a few short years ago. 

RockStar's notorious "myth" (i.e. Bigfoot from San Andreas) elements fuelled no doubt silently by the game designers themselves and fed on by players imaginations are present in RDR in a dynamic and truly spooky way.

Mysterious Strangers, possible ghost sightings and  legendary beats (the latter are defiantly real) all add a level of mystic realism, a level of worldly uncertainly not present in other games giving it the unique and endearing atmosphere so well-loved in GTA games. In all, a truly fantasic gaming experience up there easily with any of the established "greats".