CSI, NCIS, CISM, KGBSFA, CKIVJKEUTJUS10450#!! and other acronym fetishes

Crime is Fail, We are Win

I recently acquired a 23" flat screen HD television with build in Freeveiw channels. Delighted to be rid of my 90's monstrosity I happily sat flicking through the many new and exciting stations (Russia Today!) and having had my new TV for a weeks I notice a pattern emerging. America has been gripped and erotically asphyxiated by crime acronym fever. 
Television moguls seem to have decided that words, you know the sounds we as humans use to communicate complex emotions and ideas, are just too damn old hat. What johnny public retard needs to an ACRONYM for his favourite cop show. Beneath the mind boggling array of titles all featuring "crime" and "investigation"  just in case you didn't get the premise is a menagerie of impossibly low-lit rooms and super high-tech labs with "edgy" scientists who are just too cool to do things like follow basic investigation procedure. 
Zooming in can seemingly solve ANY crime and bleeping light-speed computers seem to have EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LIVED EVERRRR stockpiled into their databases like some weird Bolshevist wet dream.
This is police work air-brush style. Impossibly attractive legions of civil service staff bustle around insanely new and clean looking sets without so much as a paper clip straying on the desk. Strip club mood lighting is ample for the dodgy science montage sequences with culminate with everyone looking like a self-satisfied serial masturbator or in a state of Shakespearian exasperation. 
As always, quirky lab goth girl or lovable rouge detective dredge up some piece of pop culture dross to solve the latest epidemic of trendy murders or rapes. A Scooby Doo "meddling kids" moment is a must at the end of each episode when the pantomime culprit is brought to a far too-perfect American justice. What's with these rapists getting life and murders getting the death penalty? where's the snivelling human rights advocate who gets Ed Gein's copycat a spell of community service and "rehabilitation" with a free holiday? 
All these programs are a symptom of America's desire for an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful justice system when it fact is has one of the most ineffectual and problematic (minus the current British one of course), this fantasy world where cops always win and no crime can possible go unsolved thanks to "science" is a reaction to a situation in which people feel powerless in the face of crime and unsupported by the authorities.
Godlike characters with unimpeachable virtues gallivant across America solving crimes and bringing justice to the masses with sunglasses and designer gloves, and this is how people want to imagine their nations emergency services really are. The harsh reality of dull 1970's office blocks housing boxes of coffee stained files and dusty labs in constant need of cleaning and better funding doesn't make good television, and this is why "insert acronym here" has to take detective work to a near science fiction level.
Until we get an army of RoboCop's to slap ASBO's on chavs and gun down would-be rapists with gusto, VNDJVPOCOCCIS and it's fellows will be with us for some time yet.